I cry every time someone I know has a baby; they are the mingled tears of overabounding joy and anguished horror. Everything about the birth process makes me wince in phantom pain; mornings with your head in the toilet, swollen feet, fatigue all culminating to expulsion of a bulbous 8lb human from your lady parts or alternatively having your belly slashed to lift said baby out, racks me with leg quaking fear. How do women survive this? How can everyone be so unconcerned about a procedure with so much gore? I tell people that I’m praying for the safe delivery of their child, what I don’t tell them is that I am also praying for their survival.
My best friend just had her first kid, a beautiful baby girl. Her husband kept me updated with a smattering of informational texts during the 19 hour delivery period. I waited up in eager anticipation of the newborn picture text. Eventually I just had to head to bed, but woke up with a picture of my newest love in the world Audrey Mae Shuler. Getting that photo and the subsequent family shots reminded me that even with all the terrifying elements that come with bringing life into the world, it’s all worth it when they finally make it out to greet us.