I was back in California for the first time since officially moving to New York. After being in New York for 8 months or so and feeling as if I was finally where I belonged it was strange to be back in California and seemingly resuming where I had left off. There is so much comfort in “knowing”…sitting at home watching the U.S. Open with my dad felt normal, going to the movies w/ my brother also normal, happy hour w/ the gang, playing with the god kids, lunch w/ co-workers, wedding festivities w/ the Cal Poly folks all of it felt normal because it was my life. It felt like I had two lives running parallel to one another, my life in New York was on pause. I realized that if I wanted to I could just pick up where I left off, like my life in New York never even existed.
The missing link for me in New York is community. I have a few friends here who I spend the majority of my free time with running around trying to snatch up all of the things the city has to offer. Being back in California made me realize how much I miss having groups of friends and routine. I miss Friday afternoon happy hours with the Nikkei crew, seeing my godson on random weeknight dinners w/ Krista & Jared, trying new things w/ Elaine, large birthday dinners w/ the SLO folks and hanging out with my family.
On the flip side though I realized on the plane ride back to New York why I had chosen this life. I have a job with a company that I love, that challenges and excites me. I get my fill of events with authors, musicians, thinkers that I admire and respect. The New York you see in movies and TV is my backyard, is my everyday. I moved here because I wasn’t ready to settle down, I wasn’t really ready for a routine. I wanted to seize back my life and make it what I wanted and not just let it happen to me.
I miss my family and friends in California a lot. It hurts a little when I think about all of the stuff I’m missing. I’m glad I’ll have these type of visits but it’s the New York life for me for the foreseeable future.